The Feedback Reframe
Turn a setback into information you can actually use.
There are two ways to process a setback, a failure, or critical feedback.
The first asks: What went wrong? Whose fault is it? Why did this happen? How does this limit me?
The second asks: What do I want instead? What can I learn? How did this happen? What opportunity is inside this?
Both start from the same event. They produce completely different outputs — different emotions, different next actions, different trajectories. Erickson coaching calls this the shift from Failure Frame to Feedback Frame.
Preparation
Choose one specific experience — a project that didn't deliver, a conversation that went badly, feedback that stung, a decision you regret. Make it real. Something with some charge to it. Write the situation down in 3–4 sentences.
Run the Failure Frame Fully
Don't skip this step. The failure frame is already running whether you acknowledge it or not. Writing it out is how you see it clearly enough to move past it. Answer about your situation: • What went wrong? • Whose fault was it? (Including yourself if applicable — be specific.) • Why did this happen? • What does this say about you, your capability, or your future? • How might this limit you going forward? Don't edit for kindness — write what the harsh inner voice actually says.
Switch Frames Deliberately
Set the failure frame answers aside. You're not arguing with them — you're trying a different lens. • Outcome — What do I actually want now? What's the result I'm moving toward from here? • Learning — What useful information does this situation contain? What can I extract? • How — Mechanically, how did this happen? (Not why — how. The specific steps, decisions, conditions.) • Opportunity — What does this open up, even if it doesn't feel like an opening yet? • What I can control — Given what happened, what's in my circle of influence right now? The feedback frame doesn't come naturally for most people — that's why it requires deliberate activation.
Compare
Read both sets of answers side by side. • Which frame produces energy you can act from? • Which frame keeps you in the situation — replaying, defending, contracting? • What does the failure frame protect? (Sometimes it protects us from having to change — if it's someone else's fault, nothing in us needs to shift.) • What information in the feedback frame answers is actually useful?
Extract One Insight
From the feedback frame answers, identify one specific, concrete learning. Not "I need to communicate better." Specific: "When timelines are ambiguous, I need to surface the ambiguity explicitly in week one rather than assuming alignment." Write it as: "What I now know is: ___"
The Next Action
Given what you now know — what's one action in the next week that reflects the feedback frame rather than the failure frame? Write it down.
Reflection
- 1How much time and energy do you currently spend in the failure frame on this situation?
- 2What would it mean to genuinely close it — not pretend it didn't happen, but extract the learning and move?
- 3Is there another situation in your recent past that deserves this same reframe?
Setbacks are expensive either way. In the failure frame, the cost is ongoing. In the feedback frame, it's a one-time payment that buys you something.
Take This Further
Reframing a single piece of feedback is practice. These go into the patterns that generate the same feedback repeatedly.
Coaching Session · 125 EUR · 60–90 min
Bring exactly this into a live coaching session. One specific thing — worked on properly, not just talked about.
The Reboot · 12-week program
If this connects to a pattern that keeps recurring in different forms — in decisions, work, or identity — that's the level The Reboot works at.